A Mish-Mash of Themes. Romance and Resolutions

Dear Reader,

As you can probably deduce from this post, I, Jasper, aren’t as dead as you might think. No, I have simply been missing because I have recently been in Italy, and returned in time to then get caught up on doing various things on my personal blog. So I have been missing, but I have returned from my break, and I’m glad to be back.

Recently, just last week in fact, there was a small theme week going on about Romance. Romance is a beautiful genre that I am unashamed to read and write, though not as often as I like it to be. A common adage that I try to hold myself to whenever possible is to ‘write what you know’, and when you don’t, ‘write from the heart’.

As fellow bloggers Hunger and Raven know, recently I’ve come to a resolution of sorts in my own romantic life (which I don’t talk often, but probably would touch on in my ongoing series On Being Queer back on my own blog), wherein I’ve finally accepted reality for what it is, and chosen to willingly give up any half-moulded desire on my behalf for a dear friend. My own experiences with romance are pitifully little, and most of the time I rarely write romance on its own simply because I feel personally that I lack the experience or passion to pull it off well.

However this year, I plan to try and change that. Somewhat.

No, I won’t be writing a fully blown-out romance, but rather a short story that has been simmering in the background for almost eight months now. A prequel of this story has actually been done – and is actually being submitted as part of my Creative Writing Portfolio.

The two characters that I’m talking about here today are Caleb Davidson and Kay McAllister. Caleb is in fact a recycled character that I have brought out to finally tell his story. I first had the pleasure of writing Caleb as a policeman in my first ever novel, the Futurist, which was completed and then thrown on the backburner, never to be looked at again. Caleb is witty, funny, brave in a quiet sort of way, and in many ways the person I have admired and loved. Kay on the other hand, has many elements that I have drawn from how I see myself. In many ways, the romance that the two boys I have been writing have been a projection of my hopes and dreams.

The romance between the two was first conceived when I was first doing in-depth research on DADT, which has by now been formally repealed. Caleb (affectionately known as Cae) within this story works within the army, while Kay is a teacher in a high school in a relatively liberal state. When I first began writing this story, it was to showcase the hardships of DADT, but that changed as time passed, and has now become a simple story of two men who love each other, but have to be separated by duty.

There have been so many reasons why I haven’t been able to complete this story. Firstly because I love this story so much, and I really want everything to feel just right to me. Secondly because I have never written a strong romance, and I am so afraid of failing to write it the way that feels beautiful. And thirdly, because I’m almost rebuilding characters, changing things as time passes, and it is simply so hard to do.

But as my new year resolution, I have resolved to do Milwordy. And by Sweet Ozma, I will complete this romance story that has been sitting at 3.7k for almost 8 months. It shall be done.

This has been a random life post by Jasper. I shall now proceed to make it less random by including an excerpt of the said story, Lets Paint The Walls Blue.

“Kay, where are the snacks?”

“You’re not supposed to be eating.” I replied, scribbling another note down on a student’s essay. “You had way too much for breakfast already.”

The kitchen was suspiciously quiet, and I set down the pen with more force than was probably necessary. “Caleb Davidson, you get away from those snacks,” I warned, walking into the kitchen. “You know better.”

The pounding of feet out of the kitchen drove me into a run, and I found myself chasing Caleb through the back door and into the little fenced yard. He was grinning, clutching a can of chips in his left hand. “Cae,” I warned.

“Can’t stop me, can you?” He teased. I growled, breaking into a sprint and tacking him.

Stupid army training of his. He flipped me over way too easily, and tossed the chips to one side. Holding my hands down firmly, he kissed me breathless. When I finally stopped struggling, he put some space between the two of us (still holding me down though), and raised an eyebrow.

That eyebrow meant more than just I told you so. After years and years of non-verbal communication, it also translated to ‘I love you’, ‘You silly doofus why did you even think of trying’, and ‘So, what do we do now?‘.

I lowered my eyebrow. And that meant ‘Well what the hell are you waiting for?’

Caleb got the message, leaning down again to kiss me once more, while little blades of grass poked upwards at my neck.

I put off the essays for tomorrow.

With Warm Regards,
Jasper

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